Hermann Hesse is truly a great writer. Realisations come even as I read. That small awareness turns toward the self. Knowing oneself becomes even more difficult. At times it is bewildering. I feel disappointed that I amount to only this much, and I am also surprised by love for others that goes beyond overflowing self-love.
I like being alone. I tend to enjoy quiet time for thought. Even so, I have also learned that I come to know myself and grow when I practise, with other people, what I have seen in my time alone. It was hard even to admit this, so I suppose I have at least set foot on the road to adulthood. Regardless of what religion, belief, or philosophy each of us holds, if we live our daily lives with the attitude of a seeker, we may become rather fine adults. This is why I came to like the book Siddhartha and why I think I should read it again and again.
I underlined so many pages that underlining nearly lost its meaning. Among them, what moved me most was a passage that made me think about a life with purpose, not merely goals, and about how to live it. I linger on this page, and many thoughts pass through me. Siddhartha seems to say that a “sustainable life” is not a goal but the purpose of life; that one should keep the soul upright according to that purpose; and that when the soul wavers, one can think, be patient, and empty oneself.
Unfortunately, we often lose or forget the purpose of life. The purpose of life is often shaken by other people, by the flow and trends of the world, and by desire. Worn down by daily life, we run out of the time and energy needed to keep the soul upright. Looking back, most of the pain and suffering I have gone through came because I did not think, because I was not patient, because I did not empty myself.
“I should have thought a little more before acting. I should not have said that. That was greed.”
There are sentences that come to me from time to time. “Am I Seo Uk?” “Why, and for what, do I live?” When I am tussling in daily life with other people and with the goals of life, those sentences suddenly come. In truth, I think it may be those sentences that have brought me to where I am now. I have also found a sentence I want to return to often.
“If a person can think, can wait, and can fast, they can work magic and can attain their purpose.”
I want to become a person who knows how to work magic, too. :)
From Kamala, page 91 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Kamala, if you throw a stone into the water, the stone will sink straight down to the bottom of the water.
When Siddhartha sets one goal, one plan, it will be just like that. Siddhartha does nothing. He waits, he thinks, he fasts. Yet without doing anything, without moving even a finger, he makes his way through all things in the world, like that stone piercing down through the water. He lets himself be led if he is led, lets himself fall if he falls. His purpose draws him on, because he allows nothing into his soul that goes against his purpose.
This is what Siddhartha learned from the shramanas. This is what foolish people call magic. [passage omitted] If a person can think, can wait, and can fast, they can work magic and can attain their purpose. May my thoughts be a small source of strength on your sustainable path: SUSTAINER, Seo Uk